Keeping Children Happy at Your Wedding

A bored child at a wedding is a small force of nature. They will find the one open door, the cake table, or the microphone, usually during the speeches. The good news is that keeping little ones happy is mostly about anticipating the long stretches and filling them with something to do.

You don't need a soft-play area or a magician (though both are lovely if the budget stretches). What you need is a plan for the gaps: the bit between the ceremony and the meal, the long sit-down, and the late evening when their bedtime has come and gone.

Decide who's actually coming first

Before you plan anything, get a real headcount of children and their ages. A toddler, a seven-year-old and a teenager need completely different things, and lumping them together as "the kids" leads to entertainment that suits nobody.

Ask parents to confirm ages on the RSVP. It feeds into your catering numbers, your seating, and how many activity packs you make up. With Build The Day you can add a custom question to your RSVP form so parents tell you the number and ages of children when they reply, which saves a flurry of texts later.

A few age bands worth thinking about separately:

• Babies and toddlers (0 to 3): mostly need their parents, a clear floor and somewhere to nap.
• Little ones (4 to 8): the group most likely to get restless. They're your main audience for activities.
• Tweens and teens: usually fine left to their own devices, but a quiet corner with a plug socket and decent wifi goes a long way.

Fill the long gaps

The two danger zones are the drinks reception and the wedding breakfast. Both involve a lot of standing or sitting while adults talk.

For the reception, a few lawn games sort it instantly. Giant Jenga, a space hopper or two, hoopla, or a bucket of bubbles will absorb an hour without anyone noticing. They double as entertainment for the grown-ups too.

For the meal, a small activity pack at each child's place setting is the classic for a reason. Keep it simple:

• A few crayons (not felt tips, which end up on the linen)
• A printed colouring or activity sheet, ideally wedding-themed
• A small wooden puzzle or some stickers
• A little bag of sweets to deploy at the right moment

Pop it all in a paper bag with their name on it. The novelty buys you a good chunk of the meal.

The kids' table question

A dedicated children's table works brilliantly if you've got enough children of a similar age, say four or more. They keep each other entertained, parents get to actually eat their dinner, and you can theme it gently with paper tablecloths they're allowed to draw on.

If you've only got one or two children, keep them with their families. A single child marooned at a "kids' table" is just a lonely child.

Whatever you choose, seat families near an exit or aisle. A parent doing the silent toddler-carry to the back of the room will thank you for not making them climb over twelve people first.

Feed them early and feed them simply

Children rarely want a three-course plated meal, and they certainly won't wait for it. Most caterers offer a children's menu, and it's worth serving it a little ahead of the adult courses so nobody's melting down by the time mains arrive.

Stick to the reliable favourites and you can't go far wrong.

Ask your caterer about portion sizes and allergies when you confirm numbers. And keep water and squash topped up, because a thirsty child is a grumpy one.

A quiet space saves the evening

The single best thing you can do is set aside a quiet room, or even just a quiet corner, where overtired little ones can wind down. A few cushions, some blankets, a basket of books, and maybe a tablet loaded with downloaded films before you lose the wifi.

If your venue allows it, this is also where babies can be settled for the night while parents stay for the first dance. Some couples hire a professional nanny for the evening to staff exactly this kind of space, which for a wedding with a dozen children can be money very well spent.

Set expectations with parents

A quick line on your wedding website does a lot of quiet work. Let parents know whether children are invited to the whole day or the evening only, whether there'll be a quiet space, and roughly when the formalities happen so they can plan naps and feeds.

Parents are your allies here. Tell them what you've laid on and they'll work with you to keep their little ones happy, fed and, by the time the band strikes up, hopefully fast asleep in a quiet room with someone keeping an eye out.