Catering for Dietary Requirements with Care

There is a particular sort of dread that comes when, three days before the wedding, your aunt mentions in passing that her new partner is coeliac and the caterer has already locked the order. It is avoidable. Catering for dietary needs is mostly about asking early, writing things down properly, and not treating "no gluten" as the same thing as "trying to eat less bread".

Ask the right question, and ask it early

Most couples bury a single line in the RSVP: "any dietary requirements?" It works for some people and fails for others, because a guest with a mild dislike of mushrooms answers it the same way as someone whose nut allergy could land them in A&E. You want to separate genuine medical needs from preferences without making anyone feel like a nuisance.

A short, specific prompt does the job. Something like: "Do you have any allergies, intolerances or dietary requirements we should pass to our caterer? Please tell us how serious it is so we get it right." That last sentence matters. It signals you are taking it seriously, and it gives the anxious coeliac permission to say "this is medical, not a preference".

Collect it at RSVP time rather than chasing later. If you are using an online RSVP, Build The Day lets you gather meal choices and dietary notes against each named guest, so the information stays attached to the person instead of floating in a separate email thread.

The categories worth distinguishing

• Allergies (nuts, shellfish, sesame, dairy, egg). Cross-contamination matters here, not just the main ingredient.
• Coeliac disease and gluten intolerance. A coeliac needs a kitchen that handles gluten carefully, not just a plate without a bread roll.
• Vegetarian and vegan. Be clear which, because a "veggie" option with a parmesan shaving is no good for a vegan.
• Religious requirements (halal, kosher, no pork or beef). Often needs a specialist supplier, so flag it to your caterer immediately.
• Preferences and dislikes. Worth noting, lower stakes. A guest who hates beetroot will survive; you just want them to enjoy their meal.

Talk to your caterer like it is their job, because it is

A good caterer deals with this every weekend. The mistake is handing over a vague summary ("a few veggies, one gluten thing") instead of real numbers and names. Give them a clean list: how many of each requirement, and ideally which table each person is on, so service runs smoothly.

Ask them directly how they handle cross-contamination. Do they prep allergen-free dishes on separate boards? Can they guarantee a coeliac plate, or only "no obvious gluten"? Those are different promises. If a caterer waves the question away, that tells you something.

Worth knowing: under UK law, caterers must be able to give you allergen information for the dishes they serve, covering the 14 major allergens. You are entitled to ask, and they should answer without hesitation.

The best approach is often a menu that is naturally inclusive rather than a stack of special plates. A main that happens to be gluten-free, with a strong vegan option that any guest might choose, means fewer "special" meals arriving conspicuously late while everyone else eats.

A simple way to track it all

Spreadsheets sprawl. Keep one source of truth and update it as RSVPs land. Here is the kind of breakdown your caterer will thank you for:

Two columns earn their place. Severity tells the kitchen where to be careful. Table lets servers deliver the right plate to the right seat without a quiet panic during service. Hand this over a fortnight before the day, then send a final version once numbers are confirmed.

On the day itself

Even a perfect list can come unstuck if nobody on the floor knows it. A few things smooth it out:

• Brief the venue or toastmaster. Someone front-of-house should know which tables have allergy plates coming.
• Use discreet markers. Many caterers flag special plates with a small coloured dot or a folded card so servers don't second-guess. Place cards can carry a tiny symbol too.
• Tell the affected guests. A quick word, "your meal is sorted, just flag the server if anything looks off", goes a long way. People with serious allergies are used to checking, and reassurance means a lot.
• Cover the extras. Canapés, the evening buffet, the cake and even the welcome drinks all need checking. The late-night bacon rolls are no use to your vegan friends, so add a second option.

Don't forget children's meals and your suppliers. Photographers, the band and the planner are often fed on the day, and they have dietary needs too.

Keep it warm, not clinical

The aim is for every guest to sit down and find something they actually want to eat, not a sad afterthought. Catering for dietary needs well is one of those invisible kindnesses: nobody notices when it goes right, but the guest who usually picks at a dry side salad will remember the wedding where someone clearly thought about them. Ask early, write it down properly, trust a good caterer, and the rest tends to look after itself.