[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":2208},["ShallowReactive",2],{"$ftIEU77gxmG7oFo0LZT45yMWloEbquGkJkVV4tJ5PCNE":3,"$fRPgg2xVnttuQpDEg_4PZ9no1solULoS5AaZrI4wSSSM":57,"blog-how-to-plan-a-proposal-theyll-never-forget":83,"blog-related-how-to-plan-a-proposal-theyll-never-forget":275},{"nav":4,"footer":23},{"showLogo":5,"logo":6,"links":7,"ctaLabel":20,"ctaUrl":21,"loginLabel":22,"loginUrl":21},true,"Build The Day",[8,11,14,17],{"label":9,"url":10},"Features","/features",{"label":12,"url":13},"Pricing","/pricing",{"label":15,"url":16},"Blog","/blog",{"label":18,"url":19},"Learn","https://learn.buildtheday.com","Get Started Free","https://app.buildtheday.com/admin","Log in",{"brand":6,"tagline":24,"columns":25,"copyright":6},"Beautiful wedding websites that make planning effortless.",[26,33,48],{"title":27,"links":28},"Product",[29,30,31,32],{"label":9,"url":10},{"label":12,"url":13},{"label":15,"url":16},{"label":18,"url":19},{"title":34,"links":35},"Popular Features",[36,39,42,45],{"label":37,"url":38},"RSVP Management","/features/rsvp-management",{"label":40,"url":41},"Seating Chart","/features/seating-chart",{"label":43,"url":44},"Photo Gallery","/features/photo-gallery",{"label":46,"url":47},"Budget Planner","/features/budget-planner",{"title":49,"links":50},"Get Started",[51,53,54],{"label":52,"url":21},"Create your website",{"label":22,"url":21},{"label":55,"url":56},"Privacy Policy","/privacy-policy",{"nav":58,"footer":64},{"showLogo":5,"logo":6,"links":59,"ctaLabel":20,"ctaUrl":21,"loginLabel":22,"loginUrl":21},[60,61,62,63],{"label":9,"url":10},{"label":12,"url":13},{"label":15,"url":16},{"label":18,"url":19},{"brand":6,"tagline":24,"columns":65,"copyright":6},[66,72,78],{"title":27,"links":67},[68,69,70,71],{"label":9,"url":10},{"label":12,"url":13},{"label":15,"url":16},{"label":18,"url":19},{"title":34,"links":73},[74,75,76,77],{"label":37,"url":38},{"label":40,"url":41},{"label":43,"url":44},{"label":46,"url":47},{"title":49,"links":79},[80,81,82],{"label":52,"url":21},{"label":22,"url":21},{"label":55,"url":56},{"id":84,"title":85,"author":86,"body":87,"category":256,"date":257,"description":258,"draft":259,"extension":260,"image":261,"imageAlt":262,"imageCredit":263,"imageCreditUrl":264,"meta":265,"navigation":5,"path":266,"readTime":267,"seo":268,"stem":269,"tags":270,"__hash__":274},"blog/blog/how-to-plan-a-proposal-theyll-never-forget.md","How to Plan a Proposal They'll Never Forget","Editorial Team",{"type":88,"value":89,"toc":247},"minimark",[90,94,97,102,105,108,111,124,127,131,134,137,141,144,147,221,224,228,231,234,238,241,244],[91,92,93],"p",{},"The best proposals aren't the most extravagant ones. They're the ones that feel completely like the person being asked. A flash mob in a shopping centre is somebody's dream and somebody else's worst nightmare, so before you book a string quartet and a drone, the real work is figuring out what would make your particular person light up.",[91,95,96],{},"Here's how to plan something they'll remember for all the right reasons.",[98,99,101],"h2",{"id":100},"start-with-them-not-the-grand-gesture","Start with them, not the grand gesture",[91,103,104],{},"Forget what you've seen online. The question that matters is: what does this person actually love? Some people would adore being asked on a clifftop at sunset with a photographer hidden in the bushes. Others would much rather it happened quietly at home on a Sunday morning, in pyjamas, with the dog in the way.",[91,106,107],{},"Think about how they react to attention. If they go pink when a waiter brings out a birthday candle, a public proposal in a packed restaurant is going to make them want to disappear, not cry happy tears. Match the scale of the moment to the size of the audience they're comfortable with.",[91,109,110],{},"A few honest questions to ask yourself:",[112,113,114,118,121],"ul",{},[115,116,117],"li",{},"Do they love a surprise, or do they secretly hate not being in control?",[115,119,120],{},"Would they want this to be just the two of you, or surrounded by people they love?",[115,122,123],{},"Is there a place that already means something to you both?",[91,125,126],{},"That last one is gold. A proposal in the pub where you had your first date, or the beach where you went on your first holiday together, carries more weight than anywhere new and flashy. The setting does half the emotional work for you.",[98,128,130],{"id":129},"get-the-ring-question-right","Get the ring question right",[91,132,133],{},"You don't have to turn up with a ring at all anymore, and plenty of couples are glad they didn't. If your partner has strong taste and you're not certain of it, proposing with a placeholder (or no ring) and choosing the real one together afterwards is a perfectly modern, romantic option. Nobody wears a ring they don't love for the next fifty years out of politeness.",[91,135,136],{},"If you do want to surprise them with a ring, do your homework quietly. Get their size from a ring they already wear, or borrow one for an afternoon. Have a sense of their style, gold or silver tone, dainty or statement, and a budget you're genuinely comfortable with. The old \"three months' salary\" rule was invented by a marketing department. Spend what feels right to you and no more.",[98,138,140],{"id":139},"plan-the-moment-without-over-planning-it","Plan the moment without over-planning it",[91,142,143],{},"There's a sweet spot between winging it and scripting every second. You want enough structure that things go smoothly, but enough room that it still feels natural.",[91,145,146],{},"A simple framework that works:",[148,149,150,166],"table",{},[151,152,153],"thead",{},[154,155,156,160,163],"tr",{},[157,158,159],"th",{},"Element",[157,161,162],{},"Worth planning",[157,164,165],{},"Best left loose",[167,168,169,180,190,201,211],"tbody",{},[154,170,171,175,178],{},[172,173,174],"td",{},"Location and timing",[172,176,177],{},"Yes, lock it in",[172,179],{},[154,181,182,185,188],{},[172,183,184],{},"Getting them there",[172,186,187],{},"Yes, have a cover story",[172,189],{},[154,191,192,195,198],{},[172,193,194],{},"The actual words",[172,196,197],{},"A rough idea only",[172,199,200],{},"Don't memorise a speech",[154,202,203,206,208],{},[172,204,205],{},"Their reaction",[172,207],{},[172,209,210],{},"Let it be whatever it is",[154,212,213,216,219],{},[172,214,215],{},"What happens after",[172,217,218],{},"Yes, a little",[172,220],{},[91,222,223],{},"On the words: a few heartfelt sentences beat a memorised monologue every time. People rarely remember the exact words anyway. They remember how it felt. Say why you love them, say you want to spend your life with them, and ask. That's it. If you well up and lose your thread, that's not a mistake, that's the good bit.",[98,225,227],{"id":226},"think-about-capturing-it-carefully","Think about capturing it (carefully)",[91,229,230],{},"If you want photos, a hidden photographer or a friend with a phone can work beautifully, but only if it won't tip off your partner or make them self-conscious. Brief whoever's helping to stay genuinely out of sight until the moment's done. Nothing deflates a private proposal like spotting your mate crouched behind a hedge.",[91,232,233],{},"Not fussed about photos? Don't force it. A proposal staged for the camera can lose the very thing that made it special. Some of the most treasured proposals have no photos at all, just two people and a story they'll tell for years.",[98,235,237],{"id":236},"sort-the-bit-that-comes-after","Sort the bit that comes after",[91,239,240],{},"This is the part people forget, and it makes a real difference. The minute after they say yes, what happens? Standing about awkwardly while the adrenaline fades is an anticlimax. Plan a soft landing.",[91,242,243],{},"Book a table somewhere lovely. Have a bottle of something cold ready at home. Tip off a few of the closest people so they can call or come round to celebrate. Decide together, in the moment, who gets told first and how, because the proposal isn't really over until you've shared the news with the people who'll be most thrilled.",[91,245,246],{},"And then take a breath. You've got a wedding to plan, but not tonight. Tonight is just for the two of you, and the lovely, slightly stunned feeling of having just promised each other everything.",{"title":248,"searchDepth":249,"depth":249,"links":250},"",2,[251,252,253,254,255],{"id":100,"depth":249,"text":101},{"id":129,"depth":249,"text":130},{"id":139,"depth":249,"text":140},{"id":226,"depth":249,"text":227},{"id":236,"depth":249,"text":237},"Engagement & Proposals","2024-01-21","How to plan a proposal that suits your partner, from picking the moment and the setting to the ring, the words and what happens after you ask.",false,"md","https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1579555973297-560c43ca7562?ixid=M3w4NzI0OTN8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHw0fHxlbmdhZ2VtZW50JTIwcmluZyUyMGNvdXBsZXxlbnwxfDB8fHwxNzgxNTk0NTAyfDA&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&w=1600&q=80&auto=format&fit=crop","Person holding silver diamond ring","Andre Jackson","https://unsplash.com/@andrejackson?utm_source=buildtheday&utm_medium=referral",{},"/blog/how-to-plan-a-proposal-theyll-never-forget",6,{"title":85,"description":258},"blog/how-to-plan-a-proposal-theyll-never-forget",[271,272,273],"proposal","engagement","planning","Ae6JXFwo4F1MrtFvpdh96n1sp3SnSlGaqN0KnahqRGg",[276,494,678,875,1078,1195,1361,1549,1690,1865,2031],{"id":277,"title":278,"author":279,"body":280,"category":256,"date":479,"description":480,"draft":259,"extension":260,"image":481,"imageAlt":482,"imageCredit":483,"imageCreditUrl":484,"meta":485,"navigation":5,"path":486,"readTime":487,"seo":488,"stem":489,"tags":490,"__hash__":493},"blog/blog/how-to-care-for-your-engagement-ring.md","How to Care for Your Engagement Ring","The Build The Day Team",{"type":88,"value":281,"toc":471},[282,285,289,292,295,299,302,319,322,326,329,356,359,363,366,369,373,376,455,459,462,465,468],[91,283,284],{},"A new engagement ring goes everywhere with you, which is exactly why it stops sparkling. Hand cream, washing-up water, sun cream and the general grime of daily life build up under the stone faster than you'd think. The good news is that keeping it lovely takes about five minutes a week and a bit of common sense.",[98,286,288],{"id":287},"why-your-ring-goes-dull","Why your ring goes dull",[91,290,291],{},"It's almost never the diamond losing its shine. Diamonds are the hardest natural material going, so they don't scratch or fade. What dulls a ring is a thin film on the underside of the stone, the part you never look at. Soap residue, moisturiser and skin oils settle in the gap between the gem and its setting, and once that gap fills in, light can't bounce back out the way it should. The stone looks grey and lifeless even though it's perfectly intact.",[91,293,294],{},"So the trick isn't polishing the top. It's cleaning underneath.",[98,296,298],{"id":297},"the-simple-at-home-clean","The simple at-home clean",[91,300,301],{},"You don't need special kit. Warm water, a drop of washing-up liquid and a soft toothbrush will do almost everything.",[112,303,304,307,310,313,316],{},[115,305,306],{},"Fill a small bowl with warm (not hot) water and add a little washing-up liquid.",[115,308,309],{},"Let the ring soak for ten to fifteen minutes to loosen the film.",[115,311,312],{},"Gently brush around and under the stone with a soft toothbrush, paying attention to the back of the setting.",[115,314,315],{},"Rinse in a separate bowl of clean water, not under a running tap. A surprising number of rings go down the plughole this way.",[115,317,318],{},"Pat dry with a lint-free cloth, or let it air-dry on kitchen roll.",[91,320,321],{},"Do this once a week and your ring will look freshly bought most of the time. A word of warning on home ultrasonic cleaners and the cheap blue jewellery dips: they're fine for solid gold and diamonds, but they can loosen or damage softer stones like emeralds, opals and pearls, and they'll strip the rhodium plating off white gold over time. If your ring isn't a plain diamond solitaire, stick to soap and water.",[98,323,325],{"id":324},"take-it-off-more-than-you-think","Take it off more than you think",[91,327,328],{},"The single best habit is knowing when to slip the ring off. A few moments worth remembering:",[112,330,331,338,344,350],{},[115,332,333,337],{},[334,335,336],"strong",{},"Anything with chemicals."," Cleaning the bathroom, dyeing your hair, using bleach. Chlorine in particular eats away at the alloys in gold and can weaken the metal that holds your stone.",[115,339,340,343],{},[334,341,342],{},"The gym and heavy lifting."," A solid knock against a dumbbell or a kettlebell can bend a claw or chip a stone. Catching a soft band on equipment can warp it out of round.",[115,345,346,349],{},[334,347,348],{},"Gardening and DIY."," Grit, grease and a good whack are all bad news.",[115,351,352,355],{},[334,353,354],{},"Swimming and hot tubs."," Cold water shrinks your finger and rings slide off; chlorinated water harms the metal.",[91,357,358],{},"Keep a small dish by the kitchen sink and the bathroom basin so the ring has a home rather than balancing on the edge. Most lost rings are lost at home, not out and about.",[98,360,362],{"id":361},"get-the-claws-checked-once-a-year","Get the claws checked once a year",[91,364,365],{},"The setting is the bit that actually fails. The tiny metal claws (or prongs) that hold your stone wear down with daily contact, and a worn claw can let a stone work loose. You won't always notice until it's gone.",[91,367,368],{},"A jeweller can check the setting, tighten any loose claws and give the ring a professional ultrasonic and steam clean in about half an hour, often for free or for a small fee if you bought the ring there. Book it in once a year, maybe around your engagement anniversary so it's easy to remember. If you ever hear a faint rattle when you shake the ring near your ear, get it seen sooner. That's usually a loose stone.",[98,370,372],{"id":371},"how-often-to-do-what","How often to do what",[91,374,375],{},"Here's the rhythm I'd suggest, depending on how hands-on your daily life is.",[148,377,378,391],{},[151,379,380],{},[154,381,382,385,388],{},[157,383,384],{},"Task",[157,386,387],{},"How often",[157,389,390],{},"Who does it",[167,392,393,404,414,425,435,445],{},[154,394,395,398,401],{},[172,396,397],{},"Soap-and-water clean",[172,399,400],{},"Weekly",[172,402,403],{},"You",[154,405,406,409,412],{},[172,407,408],{},"Wipe with a soft cloth",[172,410,411],{},"Daily, if you like",[172,413,403],{},[154,415,416,419,422],{},[172,417,418],{},"Professional clean and polish",[172,420,421],{},"Every 6 to 12 months",[172,423,424],{},"Jeweller",[154,426,427,430,433],{},[172,428,429],{},"Claw and setting check",[172,431,432],{},"Yearly",[172,434,424],{},[154,436,437,440,443],{},[172,438,439],{},"Re-rhodium white gold",[172,441,442],{},"Every 12 to 18 months",[172,444,424],{},[154,446,447,450,453],{},[172,448,449],{},"Resize if your fingers change",[172,451,452],{},"As needed",[172,454,424],{},[98,456,458],{"id":457},"storing-and-insuring-it","Storing and insuring it",[91,460,461],{},"When the ring isn't on your finger, keep it somewhere soft and separate. Diamonds are hard enough to scratch other jewellery, so a lined box or individual pouch stops your pieces grinding against each other. Don't just chuck it in a drawer with your earrings.",[91,463,464],{},"On insurance: it's the bit everyone puts off and then wishes they'd sorted. Check whether your home contents policy covers the ring, both at home and when you're out, and look at the single-item limit. Many standard policies cap individual items at a few hundred pounds, well below what most engagement rings are worth, so you may need to name it specifically or take out separate jewellery cover. Dig out the receipt or valuation and keep it safe; you'll want it for a claim and for any future resize or repair.",[91,466,467],{},"And if your ring has real meaning beyond its value, photograph it from a few angles and note the details. It won't bring back a lost ring, but it makes replacing or remaking one far less painful.",[91,469,470],{},"A ring you wear every day is going to pick up the odd scuff and that's fine, it's a sign of a life being lived. Keep the underside clean, take it off when it counts, and have someone check the claws once a year. Do that and it'll still be throwing light around on your fiftieth anniversary.",{"title":248,"searchDepth":249,"depth":249,"links":472},[473,474,475,476,477,478],{"id":287,"depth":249,"text":288},{"id":297,"depth":249,"text":298},{"id":324,"depth":249,"text":325},{"id":361,"depth":249,"text":362},{"id":371,"depth":249,"text":372},{"id":457,"depth":249,"text":458},"2025-12-23","A practical guide to cleaning, storing and protecting your engagement ring at home, plus when to see a jeweller and why insurance matters.","https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1512163143273-bde0e3cc7407?ixid=M3w4NzI0OTN8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxfHxlbmdhZ2VtZW50JTIwcmluZyUyMGNhcmV8ZW58MXwwfHx8MTc4MTYxMzczNHww&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&w=1600&q=80&auto=format&fit=crop","Silver-colored ring with gemstone in a box","Jackie Tsang","https://unsplash.com/@jickii?utm_source=buildtheday&utm_medium=referral",{},"/blog/how-to-care-for-your-engagement-ring",5,{"title":278,"description":480},"blog/how-to-care-for-your-engagement-ring",[272,491,492],"rings","jewellery","Y2mbFUHxEsUe4gtYPjbXHWpk7HTKCHlsNVjQ5UMiQmA",{"id":495,"title":496,"author":279,"body":497,"category":256,"date":665,"description":666,"draft":259,"extension":260,"image":667,"imageAlt":668,"imageCredit":669,"imageCreditUrl":670,"meta":671,"navigation":5,"path":672,"readTime":267,"seo":673,"stem":674,"tags":675,"__hash__":677},"blog/blog/how-long-should-you-be-engaged-before-the-wedding.md","How Long Should You Be Engaged Before the Wedding?",{"type":88,"value":498,"toc":657},[499,502,505,509,520,523,527,530,533,536,540,543,546,549,553,556,617,620,624,627,641,644,648,651,654],[91,500,501],{},"There isn't a correct number of months. Some couples marry within a season of getting engaged and feel none the worse for it. Others happily sit on a two-year runway. The right length depends on your budget, your venue, and how much planning you can stomach at once.",[91,503,504],{},"So rather than chasing an average, it helps to look at what actually changes when you make the gap shorter or longer. That's where the real decision lives.",[98,506,508],{"id":507},"what-the-typical-engagement-looks-like","What the typical engagement looks like",[91,510,511,512,519],{},"Most couples in the UK land somewhere between one and two years. According to ",[513,514,518],"a",{"href":515,"rel":516},"https://bridebook.com",[517],"nofollow","Bridebook's 2024 UK Wedding Report",", the average engagement runs to roughly 20 months. That figure is shaped heavily by venue availability: popular barns, country houses and city venues for a Saturday in peak season often book 18 months or more ahead, so the date you can get effectively sets your timeline.",[91,521,522],{},"Worth saying out loud: that average includes a lot of couples who would have married sooner if the calendar had let them. So don't read 20 months as the \"proper\" length. Read it as the length the wedding industry's lead times tend to produce.",[98,524,526],{"id":525},"the-case-for-a-longer-engagement","The case for a longer engagement",[91,528,529],{},"A longer engagement, say 18 months to two years, buys you breathing room. You get first pick of venues and the suppliers everyone wants. You can spread payments over a longer stretch, which makes a big budget feel less brutal month to month. And you have time to change your mind about details without panicking.",[91,531,532],{},"It also gives you space to just be engaged. There's something nice about a year where you're not constantly making decisions, where you can enjoy the news before the to-do list takes over.",[91,534,535],{},"The downside is real, though. A long engagement can drift. Momentum stalls, the same conversations get rehashed, and the cost of everything creeps up while you wait. Two years is also a long time to hold a big deposit and a fixed plan if your circumstances shift.",[98,537,539],{"id":538},"the-case-for-a-shorter-engagement","The case for a shorter engagement",[91,541,542],{},"Six to nine months is absolutely doable, and plenty of couples prefer it. The decisions come quickly, which sounds stressful but often works in your favour: there's no time to overthink, so you book the venue you love and move on. You also lock in today's prices rather than next year's.",[91,544,545],{},"A short engagement suits couples who already know roughly what they want, who are happy with a weekday or off-peak date, and who can throw a few focused weekends at the planning. If you're flexible on the month and the day, availability opens up enormously.",[91,547,548],{},"The trade-off is pace. You'll be making big calls back to back, often within the first month. Your dream venue might not have your dream date free. And if you're hoping for a lot of bespoke or handmade elements, six months can feel tight.",[98,550,552],{"id":551},"how-the-timeline-shifts-the-work","How the timeline shifts the work",[91,554,555],{},"The same wedding takes roughly the same number of decisions whether you have six months or two years. The difference is how densely they're packed. Here's a rough sense of how the load spreads.",[148,557,558,571],{},[151,559,560],{},[154,561,562,565,568],{},[157,563,564],{},"Engagement length",[157,566,567],{},"Pace of planning",[157,569,570],{},"Best suited to",[167,572,573,584,595,606],{},[154,574,575,578,581],{},[172,576,577],{},"3 to 6 months",[172,579,580],{},"Intense, front-loaded",[172,582,583],{},"Flexible dates, smaller guest lists, off-peak",[154,585,586,589,592],{},[172,587,588],{},"6 to 12 months",[172,590,591],{},"Brisk but manageable",[172,593,594],{},"Couples who know their priorities",[154,596,597,600,603],{},[172,598,599],{},"12 to 18 months",[172,601,602],{},"Comfortable, steady",[172,604,605],{},"Peak-season Saturdays, popular venues",[154,607,608,611,614],{},[172,609,610],{},"18 to 24 months",[172,612,613],{},"Relaxed, spread out",[172,615,616],{},"Big budgets, lots of bespoke details, saving as you go",[91,618,619],{},"None of these is better. A 10-month engagement with a clear plan beats a two-year one that drifts. It's about matching the runway to how you both like to work.",[98,621,623],{"id":622},"questions-that-actually-decide-it","Questions that actually decide it",[91,625,626],{},"Forget the average and ask yourselves a few honest things.",[112,628,629,632,635,638],{},[115,630,631],{},"What season and day do you want, and how soon is that available at venues you'd genuinely book?",[115,633,634],{},"How much can you realistically save each month, and how long do you need to hit your budget?",[115,636,637],{},"Do either of you find drawn-out projects draining, or do tight deadlines stress you out?",[115,639,640],{},"Is there a date that already matters to you, an anniversary, a season, a year that means something?",[91,642,643],{},"If your answers point at a quick, focused plan, don't let \"but everyone's engaged for two years\" talk you out of it. If they point at a longer build-up, enjoy the slower pace and don't feel you're dragging your feet.",[98,645,647],{"id":646},"a-note-on-momentum","A note on momentum",[91,649,650],{},"Whatever length you choose, the trap is the same: a flat middle stretch where nothing happens. Set two or three rough checkpoints early on, even loose ones, so the months don't slide past. Book the big suppliers, then the medium ones, then the details, in that order.",[91,652,653],{},"Keeping everything in one place helps more than you'd think. A shared wedding website with your timeline, guest list and supplier details means you're not rifling through emails to remember what you've booked. Build The Day keeps all of that together, so a long engagement doesn't turn into a scavenger hunt through your inbox.",[91,655,656],{},"Pick the length that lets you both sleep at night. That's the only rule that matters.",{"title":248,"searchDepth":249,"depth":249,"links":658},[659,660,661,662,663,664],{"id":507,"depth":249,"text":508},{"id":525,"depth":249,"text":526},{"id":538,"depth":249,"text":539},{"id":551,"depth":249,"text":552},{"id":622,"depth":249,"text":623},{"id":646,"depth":249,"text":647},"2024-03-02","How long to stay engaged before the wedding, with the trade-offs of short and long engagements and how to find the timeline that suits the two of you.","https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1484876632310-ddb3b48133cc?ixid=M3w4NzI0OTN8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwzfHxlbmdhZ2VtZW50JTIwcmluZyUyMGNvdXBsZXxlbnwxfDB8fHwxNzgxNTk0NTAyfDA&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&w=1600&q=80&auto=format&fit=crop","A couple holding hands with a wedding ring visible","Shelby Deeter","https://unsplash.com/@shelbymary_?utm_source=buildtheday&utm_medium=referral",{},"/blog/how-long-should-you-be-engaged-before-the-wedding",{"title":496,"description":666},"blog/how-long-should-you-be-engaged-before-the-wedding",[272,273,676],"timelines","NAm2ozxhP6gKzTxuFSc5N_SC3zN0Z5fm77Bwyj6U2kw",{"id":679,"title":680,"author":86,"body":681,"category":256,"date":862,"description":863,"draft":259,"extension":260,"image":864,"imageAlt":865,"imageCredit":866,"imageCreditUrl":867,"meta":868,"navigation":5,"path":869,"readTime":267,"seo":870,"stem":871,"tags":872,"__hash__":874},"blog/blog/choosing-an-engagement-ring-together.md","Choosing an Engagement Ring Together",{"type":88,"value":682,"toc":855},[683,686,689,693,696,699,702,706,709,712,715,719,722,748,751,755,758,761,764,839,842,846,849,852],[91,684,685],{},"The secret-shopping, ring-hidden-in-a-pocket proposal is lovely, but it's no longer the only way. Plenty of couples now choose the ring together, and honestly, there's a lot to recommend it. You get something that actually fits the hand and the personality wearing it, nobody's stuck guessing a ring size from a borrowed band, and you can still keep the moment of the proposal itself a surprise.",[91,687,688],{},"If you're going down this route, here's how to do it well without it turning into a stressful afternoon of feeling watched by a shop assistant.",[98,690,692],{"id":691},"why-shopping-together-is-having-a-moment","Why shopping together is having a moment",[91,694,695],{},"The old logic was that the ring should be a complete surprise. The trouble is, taste in jewellery is deeply personal, and a ring is something you wear every single day for decades. Getting it wrong is an expensive mistake to live with.",[91,697,698],{},"Choosing together solves that. The person wearing it gets a say, you both learn what things actually cost before anyone commits, and there's no nervous month of hoping you guessed right. You can still keep the proposal a secret. Pick the ring as a pair, then let the actual moment, the where and when and how, stay entirely up to one of you.",[91,700,701],{},"It also takes the pressure off financially. When you're both in the room hearing the prices, the budget conversation happens naturally rather than one person quietly panicking at a counter alone.",[98,703,705],{"id":704},"set-the-budget-before-you-set-foot-in-a-shop","Set the budget before you set foot in a shop",[91,707,708],{},"This is the conversation to have first, at home, with a cup of tea and no salesperson nearby. Decide together what feels right to spend. Ignore the old \"three months' salary\" line entirely. It was invented by a diamond marketing campaign in the 1930s and it bears no relation to what's sensible for your life.",[91,710,711],{},"According to F. Hinds, a UK jeweller that tracks this, the average amount Britons spend on an engagement ring sits somewhere around the £1,500 to £2,000 mark, though the range is enormous and plenty of people spend far less and are thrilled. What matters is the number that doesn't make either of you wince. A ring you can't comfortably afford casts a small shadow over something that should feel joyful.",[91,713,714],{},"Agree on a ceiling, then treat it as a real ceiling. It's much easier to fall in love with a £900 ring when you walked in knowing £1,200 was your limit than to talk yourself up from £1,200 to £2,400 in the heat of the moment.",[98,716,718],{"id":717},"learn-the-basics-so-you-can-ask-good-questions","Learn the basics so you can ask good questions",[91,720,721],{},"You don't need to become a gemmologist, but a little knowledge stops you being sold things you don't want. For diamonds, the traditional shorthand is the four Cs:",[112,723,724,730,736,742],{},[115,725,726,729],{},[334,727,728],{},"Cut"," is how well the stone is shaped to catch light. This is the one that most affects sparkle, and the one to prioritise.",[115,731,732,735],{},[334,733,734],{},"Colour"," runs from colourless (graded D) down through faintly yellow. You often can't see the difference between neighbouring grades with the naked eye.",[115,737,738,741],{},[334,739,740],{},"Clarity"," is about tiny internal marks. Most are invisible without magnification, so \"eye-clean\" is usually enough.",[115,743,744,747],{},[334,745,746],{},"Carat"," is weight, which people confuse with size. A well-cut smaller stone can outshine a heavier dull one.",[91,749,750],{},"The practical takeaway: a brilliant cut at a middling colour and clarity grade usually looks better, and costs less, than chasing top marks on every measure. Spend where the eye notices, save where it doesn't.",[98,752,754],{"id":753},"stones-metals-and-the-lab-grown-question","Stones, metals and the lab-grown question",[91,756,757],{},"Diamonds are traditional but far from compulsory. Sapphires, emeralds, moissanite and even less expected stones like morganite are all popular, and a coloured stone often gives you far more presence for the money. Just check hardness if you've got an active, hands-on life. Sapphires and diamonds shrug off daily wear; softer stones like opals and pearls scratch and chip more easily.",[91,759,760],{},"Lab-grown diamonds deserve a proper mention. They're chemically identical to mined ones, they cost a good deal less, and many couples like the ethical and environmental story behind them. The main thing to know is that their resale value is lower, so buy one because you love it, not as an investment.",[91,762,763],{},"For the metal, here's a quick comparison:",[148,765,766,782],{},[151,767,768],{},[154,769,770,773,776,779],{},[157,771,772],{},"Metal",[157,774,775],{},"Look",[157,777,778],{},"Durability",[157,780,781],{},"Notes",[167,783,784,798,812,826],{},[154,785,786,789,792,795],{},[172,787,788],{},"Platinum",[172,790,791],{},"Naturally white",[172,793,794],{},"Very hard-wearing",[172,796,797],{},"Heavier, pricier, holds stones securely",[154,799,800,803,806,809],{},[172,801,802],{},"White gold",[172,804,805],{},"Bright white",[172,807,808],{},"Good, but plating wears",[172,810,811],{},"Needs re-plating every few years",[154,813,814,817,820,823],{},[172,815,816],{},"Yellow gold",[172,818,819],{},"Warm, classic",[172,821,822],{},"Good",[172,824,825],{},"Hides scratches well, very traditional",[154,827,828,831,834,836],{},[172,829,830],{},"Rose gold",[172,832,833],{},"Soft pink",[172,835,822],{},[172,837,838],{},"Flattering on many skin tones",[91,840,841],{},"Think about what the wearer already owns. If their other jewellery is all warm yellow gold, a stark platinum ring may feel like a stranger on the hand.",[98,843,845],{"id":844},"shop-in-a-way-that-suits-you-both","Shop in a way that suits you both",[91,847,848],{},"Book appointments rather than wandering in cold, especially at independent jewellers, where you'll get unhurried attention and honest advice. Try things on. Sizes and shapes look completely different on a real hand than in a display case, and a band that dazzles in the window can feel wrong once it's on your finger.",[91,850,851],{},"Give yourselves permission to leave without buying. A reputable jeweller won't push you, and the right ring won't vanish if you sleep on it. If you'd rather not haunt the high street, plenty of couples now design something bespoke or browse online first to narrow down a style before seeing it in person.",[91,853,854],{},"However you do it, keep hold of the feeling underneath all the carats and settings. You're choosing a small object that will mean something every time you glance down at it for the rest of your lives. That's worth a few unhurried afternoons together to get right.",{"title":248,"searchDepth":249,"depth":249,"links":856},[857,858,859,860,861],{"id":691,"depth":249,"text":692},{"id":704,"depth":249,"text":705},{"id":717,"depth":249,"text":718},{"id":753,"depth":249,"text":754},{"id":844,"depth":249,"text":845},"2024-02-24","A modern, no-pressure guide to picking an engagement ring as a couple, covering budgets, stones, settings and how to shop without the awkwardness.","https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1529634597503-139d3726fed5?ixid=M3w4NzI0OTN8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxfHxlbmdhZ2VtZW50JTIwcmluZyUyMGNvdXBsZXxlbnwxfDB8fHwxNzgxNTk0NTAyfDA&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&w=1600&q=80&auto=format&fit=crop","Woman touch man's hand","Samantha Gades","https://unsplash.com/@srosinger3997?utm_source=buildtheday&utm_medium=referral",{},"/blog/choosing-an-engagement-ring-together",{"title":680,"description":863},"blog/choosing-an-engagement-ring-together",[272,491,873],"proposals","F_qsRW0AJcx_foorhrSxEl7wQu1cU5j5yudvSSnwZhU",{"id":876,"title":877,"author":86,"body":878,"category":256,"date":1064,"description":1065,"draft":259,"extension":260,"image":1066,"imageAlt":1067,"imageCredit":1068,"imageCreditUrl":1069,"meta":1070,"navigation":5,"path":1071,"readTime":267,"seo":1072,"stem":1073,"tags":1074,"__hash__":1077},"blog/blog/engagement-photo-ideas-that-feel-like-you.md","Engagement Photo Ideas That Feel Like You",{"type":88,"value":879,"toc":1057},[880,888,892,895,898,915,918,921,925,932,935,938,942,945,948,974,977,981,984,987,990,994,997,1051,1054],[91,881,882,883,887],{},"Most engagement photos look the same because most couples turn up not knowing what they want, so the photographer falls back on the classics: hold hands, walk away from camera, look at each other and laugh at nothing. There's nothing wrong with those. But your shoot can be far more ",[884,885,886],"em",{},"you"," with a bit of thought beforehand, and the difference shows in every frame.",[98,889,891],{"id":890},"pick-a-place-that-means-something","Pick a place that means something",[91,893,894],{},"The single best thing you can do is choose a location with a story. A pretty field will give you pretty pictures. The pub where you had your first date, or the stretch of canal you walk every Sunday, gives you pictures that actually feel like your life.",[91,896,897],{},"Think about where you genuinely spend time together:",[112,899,900,903,906,909,912],{},[115,901,902],{},"The cafe you always end up in",[115,904,905],{},"A favourite walk, woodland, or coast path",[115,907,908],{},"Your own kitchen, if you're cook-at-home people",[115,910,911],{},"A city street that's part of your routine",[115,913,914],{},"The allotment, the climbing wall, the record shop",[91,916,917],{},"If nowhere obvious jumps out, pick by mood instead. Want soft and romantic? A garden or bluebell wood in late spring. Want a bit of edge? Brick, neon, and a rainy evening in town. The setting does half the work of setting the tone.",[91,919,920],{},"One practical note: check whether your spot needs permission. Plenty of National Trust sites, botanical gardens, and some city locations ask for a permit or a small fee for a booked shoot, even a casual one. A quick email saves an awkward conversation with a warden halfway through.",[98,922,924],{"id":923},"build-the-shoot-around-what-you-actually-do","Build the shoot around what you actually do",[91,926,927,928,931],{},"The couples who look most relaxed on camera are usually ",[884,929,930],{},"doing"," something rather than posing. Activity gives your hands a job and your face a reason to react, which is exactly what kills the stiffness.",[91,933,934],{},"Bring the dog. Make a flask of coffee and share it on a bench. Cycle somewhere. Bake together and get flour everywhere. Play a board game you're both competitive about. If you're music people, take the guitar. The photographer's job becomes catching the real moments between the doing, and those are the ones you'll print.",[91,936,937],{},"A small prop or two can help if standing around feels unnatural to you. Not a chalkboard with a hashtag on it. Something honest: a blanket, two mugs, the bunch of flowers from the proposal, a Polaroid camera you actually use.",[98,939,941],{"id":940},"what-to-wear-without-overthinking-it","What to wear, without overthinking it",[91,943,944],{},"The aim is to look like you on a good day, not like you've borrowed someone else's wardrobe. Wear things you feel comfortable and confident in, because comfort reads as ease in photos and stiffness reads as, well, stiffness.",[91,946,947],{},"A few things that genuinely help:",[112,949,950,956,962,968],{},[115,951,952,955],{},[334,953,954],{},"Coordinate, don't match."," Pick a loose palette of two or three colours and pull from it. Identical outfits look like a catalogue.",[115,957,958,961],{},[334,959,960],{},"Avoid big logos and very busy patterns."," They date the photos and pull the eye away from your faces.",[115,963,964,967],{},[334,965,966],{},"Layer for movement."," A coat to shrug on, a jumper to push up your sleeves. Texture photographs beautifully.",[115,969,970,973],{},[334,971,972],{},"Dress for the weather and the ground."," Heels sink into grass. Cold makes everyone hunch. Bring a flask and a backup jumper.",[91,975,976],{},"If you want one slightly dressier look and one relaxed one, ask your photographer about a quick change. Two distinct vibes from a single session is a lovely thing to have.",[98,978,980],{"id":979},"how-to-relax-when-you-hate-being-photographed","How to relax when you hate being photographed",[91,982,983],{},"Almost everyone says they're awkward on camera, so you're in good company. The trick is to stop performing for the lens and just be with each other.",[91,985,986],{},"Talk to your partner, not the camera. Whisper something daft. The best engagement photos are often taken while one of you is mid-laugh at something genuinely funny, not while you're both holding a smile and praying for it to end. Movement helps enormously: walking, spinning, leaning in, because a body in motion can't tense up the way a posed one does.",[91,988,989],{},"Have a glass of something first if it loosens you, go on a short walk to warm up, and trust your photographer to direct you. A good one will keep up a steady patter, give you small specific things to do, and quietly catch the in-between moments. Book a 10-minute call with them beforehand so you turn up knowing each other a little. It makes a real difference to how easy you feel.",[98,991,993],{"id":992},"a-shoot-that-earns-its-keep","A shoot that earns its keep",[91,995,996],{},"Engagement photos aren't just for the mantelpiece. They're genuinely useful for the rest of the planning, so think about where they'll end up.",[148,998,999,1009],{},[151,1000,1001],{},[154,1002,1003,1006],{},[157,1004,1005],{},"Where it goes",[157,1007,1008],{},"Why it's worth doing",[167,1010,1011,1019,1027,1035,1043],{},[154,1012,1013,1016],{},[172,1014,1015],{},"Save-the-dates",[172,1017,1018],{},"A real photo of you both beats a stock template every time",[154,1020,1021,1024],{},[172,1022,1023],{},"Your wedding website",[172,1025,1026],{},"The header image and welcome page feel instantly personal",[154,1028,1029,1032],{},[172,1030,1031],{},"Guest book or sign-in board",[172,1033,1034],{},"Framed prints give guests something to gather around",[154,1036,1037,1040],{},[172,1038,1039],{},"Thank-you cards",[172,1041,1042],{},"Closes the loop with a photo from the same chapter",[154,1044,1045,1048],{},[172,1046,1047],{},"A practice run",[172,1049,1050],{},"You learn how you photograph together before the big day",[91,1052,1053],{},"That last point is underrated. An engagement shoot is a low-stakes rehearsal for the wedding day. You find out which angles you like, how you stand together, and you get comfortable with the person who'll be photographing the most important day of your year. When you build your wedding site on Build The Day, those same images slot straight into the welcome and hero sections, so the whole thing feels like one story rather than a collection of stock photos.",[91,1055,1056],{},"The photos that last are never the most technically perfect ones. They're the ones where you both look like yourselves, caught mid-laugh, somewhere that means something. Plan for that, and the rest takes care of itself.",{"title":248,"searchDepth":249,"depth":249,"links":1058},[1059,1060,1061,1062,1063],{"id":890,"depth":249,"text":891},{"id":923,"depth":249,"text":924},{"id":940,"depth":249,"text":941},{"id":979,"depth":249,"text":980},{"id":992,"depth":249,"text":993},"2024-02-17","Engagement shoot ideas that suit real couples, not stock photos: choosing a location, what to wear, how to relax on camera, and getting natural, happy shots.","https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1584377334016-464803e03b80?ixid=M3w4NzI0OTN8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwyfHxlbmdhZ2VtZW50JTIwcmluZyUyMGNvdXBsZXxlbnwxfDB8fHwxNzgxNTk0NTAyfDA&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&w=1600&q=80&auto=format&fit=crop","Silver diamond ring on white surface","Kazzle John Delbo","https://unsplash.com/@kzzljhn00?utm_source=buildtheday&utm_medium=referral",{},"/blog/engagement-photo-ideas-that-feel-like-you",{"title":877,"description":1065},"blog/engagement-photo-ideas-that-feel-like-you",[272,1075,1076,273],"photography","couples","CyF4tQp8G5rl_VE1pJb7WPvleuFBSETUq-ot6jUmx-w",{"id":84,"title":85,"author":86,"body":1079,"category":256,"date":257,"description":258,"draft":259,"extension":260,"image":261,"imageAlt":262,"imageCredit":263,"imageCreditUrl":264,"meta":1192,"navigation":5,"path":266,"readTime":267,"seo":1193,"stem":269,"tags":1194,"__hash__":274},{"type":88,"value":1080,"toc":1185},[1081,1083,1085,1087,1089,1091,1093,1101,1103,1105,1107,1109,1111,1113,1115,1169,1171,1173,1175,1177,1179,1181,1183],[91,1082,93],{},[91,1084,96],{},[98,1086,101],{"id":100},[91,1088,104],{},[91,1090,107],{},[91,1092,110],{},[112,1094,1095,1097,1099],{},[115,1096,117],{},[115,1098,120],{},[115,1100,123],{},[91,1102,126],{},[98,1104,130],{"id":129},[91,1106,133],{},[91,1108,136],{},[98,1110,140],{"id":139},[91,1112,143],{},[91,1114,146],{},[148,1116,1117,1127],{},[151,1118,1119],{},[154,1120,1121,1123,1125],{},[157,1122,159],{},[157,1124,162],{},[157,1126,165],{},[167,1128,1129,1137,1145,1153,1161],{},[154,1130,1131,1133,1135],{},[172,1132,174],{},[172,1134,177],{},[172,1136],{},[154,1138,1139,1141,1143],{},[172,1140,184],{},[172,1142,187],{},[172,1144],{},[154,1146,1147,1149,1151],{},[172,1148,194],{},[172,1150,197],{},[172,1152,200],{},[154,1154,1155,1157,1159],{},[172,1156,205],{},[172,1158],{},[172,1160,210],{},[154,1162,1163,1165,1167],{},[172,1164,215],{},[172,1166,218],{},[172,1168],{},[91,1170,223],{},[98,1172,227],{"id":226},[91,1174,230],{},[91,1176,233],{},[98,1178,237],{"id":236},[91,1180,240],{},[91,1182,243],{},[91,1184,246],{},{"title":248,"searchDepth":249,"depth":249,"links":1186},[1187,1188,1189,1190,1191],{"id":100,"depth":249,"text":101},{"id":129,"depth":249,"text":130},{"id":139,"depth":249,"text":140},{"id":226,"depth":249,"text":227},{"id":236,"depth":249,"text":237},{},{"title":85,"description":258},[271,272,273],{"id":1196,"title":1197,"author":279,"body":1198,"category":256,"date":1348,"description":1349,"draft":259,"extension":260,"image":1350,"imageAlt":1351,"imageCredit":1352,"imageCreditUrl":1353,"meta":1354,"navigation":5,"path":1355,"readTime":267,"seo":1356,"stem":1357,"tags":1358,"__hash__":1360},"blog/blog/what-to-do-in-the-first-month-of-being-engaged.md","What to Do in the First Month of Being Engaged",{"type":88,"value":1199,"toc":1339},[1200,1203,1206,1210,1213,1216,1227,1230,1234,1237,1240,1244,1247,1250,1253,1257,1260,1263,1266,1270,1273,1276,1280,1283,1329,1333,1336],[91,1201,1202],{},"You've said yes. The ring's on, the phone's buzzing, and somewhere a relative is already asking if you've \"set a date\". Take a breath. The first month of being engaged is not the time to book a venue. It's the time to enjoy the news and lay a few quiet foundations.",[91,1204,1205],{},"Here's how to spend those first four weeks without turning your engagement into a project plan.",[98,1207,1209],{"id":1208},"tell-the-people-who-matter-in-the-right-order","Tell the people who matter, in the right order",[91,1211,1212],{},"There's a gentle etiquette to announcing an engagement, and it mostly comes down to not letting anyone important hear it secondhand. Parents and the people closest to you first, ideally by a call or in person rather than a group text. Then wider family and close friends. Then, if you fancy it, the public announcement.",[91,1214,1215],{},"A few things that save hurt feelings:",[112,1217,1218,1221,1224],{},[115,1219,1220],{},"Tell both sets of parents before either set of grandparents.",[115,1222,1223],{},"If you have children, or your partner does, tell them early and make them feel part of it.",[115,1225,1226],{},"Give a couple of close people the news before it goes on social media, so they don't find out via a photo of a hand.",[91,1228,1229],{},"And don't feel you have to post anything online at all. Plenty of couples sit on the news for a fortnight just to keep it theirs a little longer. That's allowed.",[98,1231,1233],{"id":1232},"sort-the-ring-admin-yes-really","Sort the ring admin (yes, really)",[91,1235,1236],{},"It's not romantic, but it matters. Get the ring insured, either as a standalone policy or added to your home contents. Most insurers want a recent valuation for anything over a certain value, so ask the jeweller for paperwork if you don't have it.",[91,1238,1239],{},"While you're at it, find out the ring size if it's loose or tight, and check whether it needs resizing. A ring that spins round or pinches will drive you mad for years. Better to fix it now than after the honeymoon.",[98,1241,1243],{"id":1242},"have-one-early-low-stakes-money-conversation","Have one early, low-stakes money conversation",[91,1245,1246],{},"You don't need a spreadsheet yet. But before anyone falls in love with a £15,000 marquee, it helps to have a five-minute chat about rough scale. Are we thinking 30 people or 130? A big do or something small and warm? Whose money, if anyone's, is in the mix?",[91,1248,1249],{},"According to Bridebook's 2024 UK Wedding Report, the average UK wedding cost around £20,700, and that figure climbs fast once the guest list grows. Knowing that early stops you anchoring on a number you can't actually reach.",[91,1251,1252],{},"You're not committing to anything. You're just making sure you're both pointing in the same direction before suppliers start quoting.",[98,1254,1256],{"id":1255},"resist-the-urge-to-book-everything","Resist the urge to book everything",[91,1258,1259],{},"This is the big one. The temptation in week one is to lock in a date, a venue and a photographer because everyone keeps asking. Don't.",[91,1261,1262],{},"You haven't decided on a rough size, a season or a budget yet, and all three change what venue suits you. Book a venue before you've had the size conversation and you risk paying for a space that's wrong, or worse, a non-refundable deposit on something you'll regret.",[91,1264,1265],{},"The one exception: if a venue you genuinely love has a date you genuinely want and dates are vanishing, it's fine to move quickly. Just go in with eyes open, not panic.",[98,1267,1269],{"id":1268},"start-a-single-home-for-your-planning","Start a single home for your planning",[91,1271,1272],{},"Wedding details scatter fast. A supplier emails you, a relative texts a recommendation, you screenshot a dress, your partner has a guest-list idea in the car. Within a month it's everywhere and nowhere.",[91,1274,1275],{},"Pick one place to keep it all from day one. That might be a shared note, a folder, or a wedding website where you can park guest details, RSVPs and supplier info as you go. Build The Day lets you start a free wedding website early and grow it as plans firm up, which means the guest list you scribble down now becomes the one that collects replies later, rather than something you rebuild from scratch.",[98,1277,1279],{"id":1278},"a-loose-first-month-checklist","A loose first-month checklist",[91,1281,1282],{},"Nothing here is urgent. It's just a sensible order if you want one.",[148,1284,1285,1295],{},[151,1286,1287],{},[154,1288,1289,1292],{},[157,1290,1291],{},"Week",[157,1293,1294],{},"A gentle focus",[167,1296,1297,1305,1313,1321],{},[154,1298,1299,1302],{},[172,1300,1301],{},"Week 1",[172,1303,1304],{},"Tell close family and friends. Insure the ring. Just enjoy it.",[154,1306,1307,1310],{},[172,1308,1309],{},"Week 2",[172,1311,1312],{},"Wider announcement if you want one. Talk rough size and feel.",[154,1314,1315,1318],{},[172,1316,1317],{},"Week 3",[172,1319,1320],{},"Have the five-minute money chat. Note who might contribute.",[154,1322,1323,1326],{},[172,1324,1325],{},"Week 4",[172,1327,1328],{},"Set up one planning home. Start a loose guest-list draft.",[98,1330,1332],{"id":1331},"protect-the-good-bit","Protect the good bit",[91,1334,1335],{},"Engagements have a way of becoming admin before you've had a chance to enjoy them. People will start asking about dates, dresses and seating plans while you're still grinning at your own hand. You don't owe anyone answers yet.",[91,1337,1338],{},"So in this first month, the most useful thing you can do is the least productive-sounding: go for dinner, tell the story a few more times, and let yourselves feel engaged before you feel like wedding planners. The venue search will still be there in May. The decisions land far better when you've actually savoured the bit that started it all.",{"title":248,"searchDepth":249,"depth":249,"links":1340},[1341,1342,1343,1344,1345,1346,1347],{"id":1208,"depth":249,"text":1209},{"id":1232,"depth":249,"text":1233},{"id":1242,"depth":249,"text":1243},{"id":1255,"depth":249,"text":1256},{"id":1268,"depth":249,"text":1269},{"id":1278,"depth":249,"text":1279},{"id":1331,"depth":249,"text":1332},"2023-04-17","A calm, practical guide to your first month engaged: who to tell, the ring, an early budget chat and why you should resist booking anything just yet.","https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1542338332-76971ae8c292?ixid=M3w4NzI0OTN8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxfHxlbmdhZ2VkJTIwY291cGxlJTIwY29mZmVlfGVufDF8MHx8fDE3ODE2MDA0MTh8MA&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&w=1600&q=80&auto=format&fit=crop","Two mugs with coffee on table","Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦","https://unsplash.com/@priscilladupreez?utm_source=buildtheday&utm_medium=referral",{},"/blog/what-to-do-in-the-first-month-of-being-engaged",{"title":1197,"description":1349},"blog/what-to-do-in-the-first-month-of-being-engaged",[272,273,1359],"newly engaged","nSIhP06g1CSs3tUaE2se-rtWnECCet2D93gdqY1B36Y",{"id":1362,"title":1363,"author":86,"body":1364,"category":256,"date":1537,"description":1538,"draft":259,"extension":260,"image":1539,"imageAlt":1540,"imageCredit":1541,"imageCreditUrl":1542,"meta":1543,"navigation":5,"path":1544,"readTime":267,"seo":1545,"stem":1546,"tags":1547,"__hash__":1548},"blog/blog/proposal-photographers-are-they-worth-it.md","Proposal Photographers: Are They Worth It?",{"type":88,"value":1365,"toc":1529},[1366,1369,1373,1376,1379,1382,1386,1389,1392,1406,1409,1413,1416,1419,1422,1426,1429,1483,1486,1489,1493,1496,1516,1519,1523,1526],[91,1367,1368],{},"You've planned the spot, you've got the ring in your pocket, and now you're wondering whether to hire someone to hide in a bush and photograph the whole thing. It sounds a bit much until you realise the proposal is over in about ninety seconds and you'll want to remember it for the rest of your life. So is a proposal photographer worth the money, or is it a lovely idea you don't actually need? Here's an honest look.",[98,1370,1372],{"id":1371},"what-youre-actually-paying-for","What you're actually paying for",[91,1374,1375],{},"A proposal photographer is usually a wedding or portrait photographer offering a short shoot built around the moment you pop the question. In the UK you're typically looking at somewhere between £150 and £400 for a 30 to 60 minute session, depending on location, experience and whether you bolt on an engagement shoot afterwards.",[91,1377,1378],{},"For that you get a set of edited photos of the genuine reaction: the surprise, the hands over the mouth, the laughing-and-crying combination nobody can fake later. The good ones know how to stay out of sight, get the angles right and read the moment without you having to direct anything.",[91,1380,1381],{},"That last part is the real value. You can't stage a first reaction twice.",[98,1383,1385],{"id":1384},"the-case-for-hiring-one","The case for hiring one",[91,1387,1388],{},"The honest argument is this. The proposal is the one part of the whole engagement you can't redo. A wedding can be re-photographed in a styled shoot if it rains. A proposal can't.",[91,1390,1391],{},"A few situations where it genuinely earns its fee:",[112,1393,1394,1397,1400,1403],{},[115,1395,1396],{},"You're proposing somewhere scenic where a photographer can blend in, like a beach, a park or a city viewpoint.",[115,1398,1399],{},"One of you loves photos and would be gutted to have nothing from the moment.",[115,1401,1402],{},"You want to surprise your partner and announce it with a proper image rather than a blurry selfie.",[115,1404,1405],{},"You're already planning to spend on an engagement shoot, so combining the two saves a booking.",[91,1407,1408],{},"There's also the simple fact that a stranger holding a camera removes the awkwardness of asking a mate to lurk nearby. Friends mean well, but they tend to either miss the moment or step into the shot.",[98,1410,1412],{"id":1411},"the-case-against","The case against",[91,1414,1415],{},"It isn't for everyone, and that's fine. The biggest downside is that it adds pressure to a moment that's meant to feel spontaneous. If you're already nervous, knowing someone's watching from forty feet away can tip you over the edge.",[91,1417,1418],{},"It also nudges you towards an outdoor, public proposal in a planned location. If your partner would genuinely prefer the kitchen on a Tuesday morning with the dog underfoot, a photographer doesn't fit that, and you shouldn't bend the proposal to suit the camera.",[91,1420,1421],{},"And the money is real. For £200 to £400 you could put a decent dent in the honeymoon fund. If photos aren't a priority for either of you, skip it without a second thought.",[98,1423,1425],{"id":1424},"how-to-book-without-ruining-the-surprise","How to book without ruining the surprise",[91,1427,1428],{},"This is the part people overthink. It's actually straightforward.",[148,1430,1431,1441],{},[151,1432,1433],{},[154,1434,1435,1438],{},[157,1436,1437],{},"Step",[157,1439,1440],{},"What to do",[167,1442,1443,1451,1459,1467,1475],{},[154,1444,1445,1448],{},[172,1446,1447],{},"Find a local one",[172,1449,1450],{},"Search proposal photographers in your city; check they've shot proposals before, not just weddings",[154,1452,1453,1456],{},[172,1454,1455],{},"Share the plan secretly",[172,1457,1458],{},"Tell them the time, exact spot and a description of you both so they spot you",[154,1460,1461,1464],{},[172,1462,1463],{},"Agree a signal",[172,1465,1466],{},"A hand on the back, a particular phrase, or simply kneeling down",[154,1468,1469,1472],{},[172,1470,1471],{},"Plan the reveal",[172,1473,1474],{},"Decide whether to \"spot\" the photographer afterwards or keep it a surprise",[154,1476,1477,1480],{},[172,1478,1479],{},"Sort the handover",[172,1481,1482],{},"Confirm how and when you'll get the edited photos",[91,1484,1485],{},"Most photographers who offer this do it regularly and will guide you through the logistics. Pick a spot with a natural place for them to stand, like a café terrace or a path, so they're not obviously crouched behind a single tree.",[91,1487,1488],{},"One tip: do a quick pin-drop of the precise location and a backup in case of rain. Photographers can't read minds, and \"the bench by the lake\" describes four benches.",[98,1490,1492],{"id":1491},"cheaper-ways-to-capture-the-moment","Cheaper ways to capture the moment",[91,1494,1495],{},"Not sold on the cost? You've still got options that work well.",[112,1497,1498,1504,1510],{},[115,1499,1500,1503],{},[334,1501,1502],{},"Brief a friend."," Pick the one who's reliable and good with a phone, position them in advance, and tell them to keep filming through any awkward silence.",[115,1505,1506,1509],{},[334,1507,1508],{},"Use a tripod."," Set your phone on a small tripod or propped against something, hit record, and frame the spot beforehand. Less control, but it costs nothing.",[115,1511,1512,1515],{},[334,1513,1514],{},"Hire only for the announcement."," Do the proposal privately, then book a short engagement shoot a week later for the photos you'll share.",[91,1517,1518],{},"Plenty of couples have a perfectly lovely blurry phone photo of the moment and wouldn't swap it for anything. The image matters less than the day itself.",[98,1520,1522],{"id":1521},"so-worth-it","So, worth it?",[91,1524,1525],{},"If photography matters to you, you're proposing somewhere it suits, and the budget can take it, yes, a proposal photographer is one of the few wedding-adjacent spends you're unlikely to regret. If you'd rather keep the moment small and private, or the money's tight, a friend with a phone does the job and you'll still have the memory.",[91,1527,1528],{},"Whichever way you go, once the yes is in the bag those first photos are worth saving somewhere proper. When you build your wedding website later, an engagement gallery is a nice place to keep them, and it gives guests a glimpse of where the whole thing began.",{"title":248,"searchDepth":249,"depth":249,"links":1530},[1531,1532,1533,1534,1535,1536],{"id":1371,"depth":249,"text":1372},{"id":1384,"depth":249,"text":1385},{"id":1411,"depth":249,"text":1412},{"id":1424,"depth":249,"text":1425},{"id":1491,"depth":249,"text":1492},{"id":1521,"depth":249,"text":1522},"2023-04-11","What a proposal photographer costs in the UK, the pros and cons, how to book one without spoiling the surprise, and cheaper alternatives that still work.","https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1480185378309-ff10682412df?ixid=M3w4NzI0OTN8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxfHxwcm9wb3NhbCUyMHBob3RvZ3JhcGhlciUyMGhpZGRlbnxlbnwxfDB8fHwxNzgxNjEzNzM4fDA&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&w=1600&q=80&auto=format&fit=crop","Man kneeling in front of woman","Ben White","https://unsplash.com/@benwhitephotography?utm_source=buildtheday&utm_medium=referral",{},"/blog/proposal-photographers-are-they-worth-it",{"title":1363,"description":1538},"blog/proposal-photographers-are-they-worth-it",[271,1075,272],"tjh7BdKnA8mod7iETSTKMe7je6HPDAl_P7A_ek3yf8g",{"id":1550,"title":1551,"author":279,"body":1552,"category":256,"date":1676,"description":1677,"draft":259,"extension":260,"image":1678,"imageAlt":1679,"imageCredit":1680,"imageCreditUrl":1681,"meta":1682,"navigation":5,"path":1683,"readTime":267,"seo":1684,"stem":1685,"tags":1686,"__hash__":1689},"blog/blog/telling-the-family-navigating-engagement-conversations.md","Telling the Family: Navigating Engagement Conversations",{"type":88,"value":1553,"toc":1665},[1554,1557,1560,1564,1567,1570,1587,1590,1595,1598,1602,1605,1608,1611,1615,1618,1621,1632,1635,1639,1642,1645,1649,1652,1655,1659,1662],[91,1555,1556],{},"You've said yes. The ring's on, the champagne's gone slightly warm, and somewhere between the giddiness and the disbelief comes a small practical thought: now we have to tell everyone. And telling everyone, it turns out, is its own little project. Who hears first, how you phrase it, and how you handle the inevitable \"so when's the date?\" all matter more than you'd expect.",[91,1558,1559],{},"Here's how to share the news without anyone feeling left out or stepping on a landmine you didn't see coming.",[98,1561,1563],{"id":1562},"decide-the-order-before-you-start-phoning-round","Decide the order before you start phoning round",[91,1565,1566],{},"The fastest way to upset someone is to let them find out third-hand. A cousin posts a congratulations on social media, a parent sees it, and suddenly there's a wounded silence at the next family dinner. Spend ten minutes agreeing the running order between the two of you first.",[91,1568,1569],{},"A sensible sequence for most couples looks like this:",[112,1571,1572,1575,1578,1581,1584],{},[115,1573,1574],{},"Parents and the people who raised you, in person or by call. Both sides ideally on the same day.",[115,1576,1577],{},"Children, if either of you has them. They should never hear it after the wider family.",[115,1579,1580],{},"Siblings and grandparents next.",[115,1582,1583],{},"Closest friends.",[115,1585,1586],{},"Everyone else, including any public announcement.",[91,1588,1589],{},"The golden rule: anyone who would be hurt to hear it from someone else gets told directly, and gets told early. If your families are far apart geographically, line up the calls so nobody's left waiting a fortnight while you \"find the right moment\".",[1591,1592,1594],"h3",{"id":1593},"if-one-of-you-has-a-tricky-family-situation","If one of you has a tricky family situation",[91,1596,1597],{},"Estranged parents, a recent bereavement, divorced families who don't speak. None of this has to be solved before you announce, but it's worth a quiet word between yourselves about it. Decide who you're telling, who you're not, and whether you're comfortable explaining the gaps to relatives who ask. You don't owe anyone a full account of your family history. A simple \"we're keeping the news close for now\" closes most questions kindly.",[98,1599,1601],{"id":1600},"in-person-beats-a-group-text-usually","In person beats a group text, usually",[91,1603,1604],{},"There's something a bit deflating about learning your child or your best friend is engaged via a WhatsApp group of fourteen people. Where you can, tell the people closest to you face to face, or at least on a video call where you can see their reaction and they can see yours.",[91,1606,1607],{},"That said, be realistic. If your gran is three counties away and doesn't do video calls, a phone call is perfect and she'll treasure it. The effort that counts is choosing the personal channel for the personal relationship, not driving 200 miles to deliver the news in the kitchen.",[91,1609,1610],{},"For the wider circle, a group message or a social post is completely fine. Just make sure all the inner-circle conversations have happened first.",[98,1612,1614],{"id":1613},"manage-the-questions-that-come-straight-back","Manage the questions that come straight back",[91,1616,1617],{},"The moment \"we're engaged\" leaves your mouth, you'll get a volley of follow-ups. When's the wedding? Where? How many people? Have you thought about a venue? You will not have answers to most of these, and you shouldn't pretend you do.",[91,1619,1620],{},"A few phrases worth having ready:",[112,1622,1623,1626,1629],{},[115,1624,1625],{},"\"We're just enjoying being engaged for now, we'll sort the details later.\"",[115,1627,1628],{},"\"Honestly, we've not got a clue yet, and we're in no rush.\"",[115,1630,1631],{},"\"We'll let everyone know once we've worked it out.\"",[91,1633,1634],{},"Resist committing to anything in the heat of the moment. Promising your mum a summer date or telling your future mother-in-law she can \"definitely\" help with the flowers is the sort of thing that's very easy to say and very awkward to walk back. Keep it vague, keep it warm, and buy yourselves time.",[98,1636,1638],{"id":1637},"both-sets-of-parents-same-care","Both sets of parents, same care",[91,1640,1641],{},"If your families come from different backgrounds, faiths, or simply different levels of formality, think about how each will want to hear it. One set might love a big emotional phone call; the other might appreciate being asked round for a cup of tea so you can tell them properly. Tailoring the delivery isn't favouritism, it's good manners.",[91,1643,1644],{},"It's also a lovely gesture to introduce the two families soon after, if they've not met. A relaxed lunch or a drink takes the pressure off and gives everyone a chance to get acquainted before wedding planning throws them together.",[98,1646,1648],{"id":1647},"when-the-reaction-isnt-what-you-hoped","When the reaction isn't what you hoped",[91,1650,1651],{},"Most people will be delighted. But occasionally a parent goes quiet, or someone leads with \"are you sure you're ready?\" instead of \"congratulations\". It stings, but try not to react in the moment.",[91,1653,1654],{},"Often it's not about you. It's worry, surprise, a feeling of getting older, or grief that a late relative isn't here to see it. Give them a beat. A calm \"I know it's a lot to take in, I'd love for you to be happy for us\" does more than an argument ever will. Some people need a few days to come round, and most of them do.",[98,1656,1658],{"id":1657},"keeping-everyone-in-the-loop-afterwards","Keeping everyone in the loop afterwards",[91,1660,1661],{},"Once the news is out, the questions don't stop, they just shift to logistics. Rather than fielding the same \"any update on the date?\" messages for months, many couples set up a simple wedding website early on. You can pop a holding page up with \"we're engaged, details to follow\" and update it as plans firm up, which spares you a hundred individual replies. Build The Day lets you do exactly that, so family can check one place instead of texting you every other week.",[91,1663,1664],{},"For now, though, the only job that really matters is telling the people you love, in the right order, with a bit of thought. The spreadsheets can wait.",{"title":248,"searchDepth":249,"depth":249,"links":1666},[1667,1671,1672,1673,1674,1675],{"id":1562,"depth":249,"text":1563,"children":1668},[1669],{"id":1593,"depth":1670,"text":1594},3,{"id":1600,"depth":249,"text":1601},{"id":1613,"depth":249,"text":1614},{"id":1637,"depth":249,"text":1638},{"id":1647,"depth":249,"text":1648},{"id":1657,"depth":249,"text":1658},"2023-04-05","A warm, practical guide to sharing your engagement news with both families, getting the order right and handling tricky reactions with care.","https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1533777419517-3e4017e2e15a?ixid=M3w4NzI0OTN8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxfHxmYW1pbHklMjBjZWxlYnJhdGlvbiUyMGRpbm5lcnxlbnwxfDB8fHwxNzgxNjEzNzQ4fDA&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&w=1600&q=80&auto=format&fit=crop","Three people having a toast on table","Pablo Merchán Montes","https://unsplash.com/@pablomerchanm?utm_source=buildtheday&utm_medium=referral",{},"/blog/telling-the-family-navigating-engagement-conversations",{"title":1551,"description":1677},"blog/telling-the-family-navigating-engagement-conversations",[272,1687,1688],"family","etiquette","tNPyT-Ec7OspLqiVsFzSr3ySGkPatY5TJwGu8wV2ksc",{"id":1691,"title":1692,"author":279,"body":1693,"category":256,"date":1851,"description":1852,"draft":259,"extension":260,"image":1853,"imageAlt":1854,"imageCredit":1855,"imageCreditUrl":1856,"meta":1857,"navigation":5,"path":1858,"readTime":487,"seo":1859,"stem":1860,"tags":1861,"__hash__":1864},"blog/blog/planning-an-engagement-party-without-the-pressure.md","Planning an Engagement Party Without the Pressure",{"type":88,"value":1694,"toc":1844},[1695,1698,1702,1705,1708,1711,1722,1726,1729,1732,1735,1739,1742,1803,1806,1810,1813,1819,1825,1831,1834,1838,1841],[91,1696,1697],{},"You got engaged. Lovely. Now someone, possibly your mum, possibly a well-meaning friend, is asking when the party is. Before that question turns into a spreadsheet, take a breath. An engagement party is meant to be the easy celebration, the one with no aisle to walk and no seating plan to agonise over. Here is how to keep it that way.",[98,1699,1701],{"id":1700},"decide-what-you-actually-want","Decide what you actually want",[91,1703,1704],{},"The first thing to sort isn't the venue or the cake. It's the question of whether you even want a party at all, and if so, what kind. Some couples want a big knees-up with everyone they know. Others want eight people round a kitchen table with a bottle of fizz. Both are valid. There is no rule that says an engagement requires a formal do.",[91,1706,1707],{},"Talk it through together before you tell anyone else. Are you doing this because you fancy it, or because you feel you should? If it's the second one, scale it right back. A nice dinner out with your closest people counts. So does a Sunday afternoon in the garden with a barbecue. The pressure usually comes from the gap between what you want and what you think is expected, so close that gap early.",[91,1709,1710],{},"A few honest questions to settle between you:",[112,1712,1713,1716,1719],{},[115,1714,1715],{},"Who is this party for, really? You, or other people?",[115,1717,1718],{},"Indoors or out, and what's plan B if the weather turns?",[115,1720,1721],{},"Is anyone offering to host or chip in, and do you want them to?",[98,1723,1725],{"id":1724},"keep-the-guest-list-sensible","Keep the guest list sensible",[91,1727,1728],{},"Here is the trap. Whoever comes to the engagement party tends to expect a wedding invitation. If you pack the room with second cousins and old colleagues, you've quietly committed to a much bigger wedding than you might want. So keep the engagement list tighter than, or the same as, your eventual wedding list. Never bigger.",[91,1730,1731],{},"The safest approach is to invite only people you're confident will make the wedding cut. Close family, the friends you actually see, the ones who'd be hurt to be left out. If you're unsure about someone for the wedding, leave them off the party too. It saves an awkward conversation later.",[91,1733,1734],{},"And don't feel you must merge both families on day one. If your parents have never met, an engagement party can be a lovely first introduction, but it can also be a lot. A smaller gathering first, with the big mixer saved for the wedding, is perfectly reasonable.",[98,1736,1738],{"id":1737},"food-drink-and-the-budget","Food, drink and the budget",[91,1740,1741],{},"This is where engagement parties quietly balloon, so set a number before you start. The good news is that the format gives you loads of room to spend little. Nobody expects a three-course sit-down meal at an engagement do. They expect somewhere to stand, a drink in hand, and something to nibble.",[148,1743,1744,1757],{},[151,1745,1746],{},[154,1747,1748,1751,1754],{},[157,1749,1750],{},"Style",[157,1752,1753],{},"Rough cost per head",[157,1755,1756],{},"Good for",[167,1758,1759,1770,1781,1792],{},[154,1760,1761,1764,1767],{},[172,1762,1763],{},"Drinks and nibbles at home",[172,1765,1766],{},"£8 to £15",[172,1768,1769],{},"A relaxed afternoon or evening, 15 to 30 people",[154,1771,1772,1775,1778],{},[172,1773,1774],{},"Pub function room",[172,1776,1777],{},"£15 to £30",[172,1779,1780],{},"Letting someone else do the washing up",[154,1782,1783,1786,1789],{},[172,1784,1785],{},"Buffet or grazing table at a hired space",[172,1787,1788],{},"£25 to £45",[172,1790,1791],{},"A bigger crowd who'll stay a while",[154,1793,1794,1797,1800],{},[172,1795,1796],{},"Dinner out for close family",[172,1798,1799],{},"£35 to £60",[172,1801,1802],{},"A small, intimate celebration",[91,1804,1805],{},"A few money-savers that don't read as stingy: buy your own drink and skip a paid bar, ask a couple of confident friends to bring a dish, and lean on supermarket platters rather than a caterer. If people offer to help, say yes. An engagement party is a rare event where home-made and a bit chaotic is genuinely part of the charm.",[98,1807,1809],{"id":1808},"the-handful-of-details-worth-sorting","The handful of details worth sorting",[91,1811,1812],{},"You don't need much, but a few things make the day smoother.",[91,1814,1815,1818],{},[334,1816,1817],{},"Tell people clearly."," A casual party still needs a clear when, where and what-to-wear. \"Drinks from 3, garden, dress comfy\" saves a dozen texts. If you're sending anything in writing, give a rough end time too, so people know whether it's a quick toast or an all-dayer.",[91,1820,1821,1824],{},[334,1822,1823],{},"Decide on gifts up front."," Most couples don't expect engagement gifts, and saying so takes the pressure off everyone. A simple \"your company is the gift, no presents please\" on the invite does the job. If people insist, that's their choice.",[91,1826,1827,1830],{},[334,1828,1829],{},"Sort the toast."," Someone will want to say a few words, usually a parent. Give them a quiet heads-up so it isn't sprung on the room, and keep it short. This is the warm-up, not the wedding speeches.",[91,1832,1833],{},"If you're already building a wedding website, you can pop the party details on a simple page and share the link rather than chasing everyone individually. Build The Day lets you collect quick replies online, which is handy when you just want a rough headcount for catering and don't fancy a group chat that never ends.",[98,1835,1837],{"id":1836},"let-it-be-small-if-small-is-what-you-want","Let it be small if small is what you want",[91,1839,1840],{},"The best engagement parties I've been to weren't the slickest. One was a curry night for ten in a back room. Another was a muddy garden in April with a borrowed gazebo and a playlist someone had thrown together that morning. What they had in common was a couple who looked relieved rather than stressed, because they'd decided early what they wanted and ignored the noise about what they \"should\" do.",[91,1842,1843],{},"So plan the version that sounds fun to you, not the version that sounds impressive. You've got a whole wedding to organise. This one is allowed to be easy.",{"title":248,"searchDepth":249,"depth":249,"links":1845},[1846,1847,1848,1849,1850],{"id":1700,"depth":249,"text":1701},{"id":1724,"depth":249,"text":1725},{"id":1737,"depth":249,"text":1738},{"id":1808,"depth":249,"text":1809},{"id":1836,"depth":249,"text":1837},"2023-03-10","A relaxed guide to throwing an engagement party that feels easy: timing, guest list, food and drink, budget and the few details worth sorting in advance.","https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1628336707631-68131ca720c3?ixid=M3w4NzI0OTN8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxfHxlbmdhZ2VtZW50JTIwcGFydHklMjB0b2FzdHxlbnwxfDB8fHwxNzgxNjAwNDA3fDA&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&w=1600&q=80&auto=format&fit=crop","People holding clear glass bottles during daytime","Quan Nguyen","https://unsplash.com/@skylakestudio?utm_source=buildtheday&utm_medium=referral",{},"/blog/planning-an-engagement-party-without-the-pressure",{"title":1692,"description":1852},"blog/planning-an-engagement-party-without-the-pressure",[272,1862,1863],"party","celebrations","4Ye10BUK0hPTmm5O1LU8DWc6ofo8Yg4twt8onWIbOQg",{"id":1866,"title":1867,"author":279,"body":1868,"category":256,"date":2018,"description":2019,"draft":259,"extension":260,"image":2020,"imageAlt":2021,"imageCredit":2022,"imageCreditUrl":2023,"meta":2024,"navigation":5,"path":2025,"readTime":487,"seo":2026,"stem":2027,"tags":2028,"__hash__":2030},"blog/blog/how-to-announce-your-engagement.md","How to Announce Your Engagement",{"type":88,"value":1869,"toc":2009},[1870,1873,1876,1880,1883,1886,1889,1893,1896,1900,1903,1906,1967,1970,1974,1977,1980,1983,1987,1990,1993,1996,2000,2003,2006],[91,1871,1872],{},"You're engaged. Before you tell a single soul, take an evening just for the two of you. Sit with it. The news will keep, and once it's out, the questions start almost immediately and they don't really stop until you're married.",[91,1874,1875],{},"When you are ready to share, a little thought about the order goes a long way. Engagements are happy news, but they can also bruise feelings if someone important hears it secondhand. Here's how to do it warmly, without turning the loveliest week of your year into an admin task.",[98,1877,1879],{"id":1878},"tell-the-people-closest-to-you-first","Tell the people closest to you first",[91,1881,1882],{},"Parents and the people who raised you usually want to hear it from you directly, not see it pop up on a feed. A phone call is lovely. In person is better if you can manage it, even if that means sitting on the news for a couple of days until you can drive over.",[91,1884,1885],{},"If either of you has children, they come before anyone. Tell them gently and give them space to react however they react, which might be delight or might be wobbly. Both are fine.",[91,1887,1888],{},"After parents and kids, work outward in rough circles: siblings and grandparents, then your closest friends, then the wider group. You don't need a spreadsheet for this, but a quick mental list stops you forgetting the aunt who will absolutely notice she found out from a cousin.",[1591,1890,1892],{"id":1891},"a-note-on-tricky-families","A note on tricky families",[91,1894,1895],{},"If your family is blended or there's history between people, decide together who tells whom. Splitting it up means nobody important slips through the gap, and it spares one of you having to make every awkward call. Keep the wording simple and the same for everyone: you're engaged, you're thrilled, no date yet. Consistency stops anyone feeling like they got the lesser version.",[98,1897,1899],{"id":1898},"then-go-public-on-your-terms","Then go public, on your terms",[91,1901,1902],{},"Once the people who matter most have heard it from you, the wider announcement is fair game. There's no rule that says you have to post at all. Plenty of couples never put a ring photo online and the world keeps turning.",[91,1904,1905],{},"If you do want to share, here's a rough running order that keeps everyone happy:",[148,1907,1908,1921],{},[151,1909,1910],{},[154,1911,1912,1915,1918],{},[157,1913,1914],{},"When",[157,1916,1917],{},"Who",[157,1919,1920],{},"How",[167,1922,1923,1934,1945,1956],{},[154,1924,1925,1928,1931],{},[172,1926,1927],{},"Day one",[172,1929,1930],{},"Parents, children, grandparents",[172,1932,1933],{},"Phone call or in person",[154,1935,1936,1939,1942],{},[172,1937,1938],{},"Days one to three",[172,1940,1941],{},"Siblings, closest friends",[172,1943,1944],{},"Call, voice note or a proper text",[154,1946,1947,1950,1953],{},[172,1948,1949],{},"Within a week",[172,1951,1952],{},"Wider family and friends",[172,1954,1955],{},"Group message or a small gathering",[154,1957,1958,1961,1964],{},[172,1959,1960],{},"After that",[172,1962,1963],{},"Everyone else",[172,1965,1966],{},"Social post, if you want one",[91,1968,1969],{},"The gap between telling your inner circle and posting publicly only needs to be a day or two. Long enough that nobody close hears it from a stranger's comment, short enough that you're not sitting on a secret for a fortnight.",[98,1971,1973],{"id":1972},"what-to-say-and-what-to-leave-out","What to say (and what to leave out)",[91,1975,1976],{},"A good announcement is short. \"We're engaged\" plus a genuine line about how you feel is plenty. You don't owe anyone the proposal story, the ring details or, heaven help you, a date. If you haven't sorted those yet, just say so. \"We're soaking it up and not thinking about logistics yet\" is a complete and polite answer.",[91,1978,1979],{},"Resist the urge to promise anything in the announcement itself. Avoid \"you'll all be invited\" or \"save next summer.\" Those throwaway lines get remembered and quoted back to you when the guest list gets real. Keep it warm and keep it vague on specifics.",[91,1981,1982],{},"If you want photos, a quick one of the two of you beats a close-up of the ring on its own. People are happy for you, not your jewellery.",[98,1984,1986],{"id":1985},"handling-the-questions-gracefully","Handling the questions gracefully",[91,1988,1989],{},"The moment you announce, you'll get the same three questions on a loop: when's the date, where's it happening, and can they come. Have a friendly stock answer ready so you're not caught out each time.",[91,1991,1992],{},"Something like: \"We're still deciding, we'll share proper details once we've worked it out.\" It's true, it's kind, and it shuts down the pressure without shutting down the person asking. Say it with a smile and most people move straight on to congratulating you.",[91,1994,1995],{},"You'll also get unsolicited opinions about venues, dresses and budgets within about a week. Nod, thank them, and file it under \"noted.\" You don't have to act on any of it, and you certainly don't have to decide anything in the first month.",[98,1997,1999],{"id":1998},"setting-up-for-the-planning-ahead","Setting up for the planning ahead",[91,2001,2002],{},"Somewhere in the excitement, it's worth starting a single place to gather all the names and details that are about to land in your inbox. Friends will send their addresses, relatives will offer phone numbers, and you'll want it all in one spot rather than scattered across texts.",[91,2004,2005],{},"A wedding website is the easy way to do this later. With Build The Day you can put up a simple page early on, even just a \"we're engaged, details to come\" holding note, and collect guest details as they trickle in. It saves the scramble when you finally sit down to draft a guest list.",[91,2007,2008],{},"For now, though, you don't need any of that. The only real job this week is to enjoy it, tell the people you love in an order that keeps them feeling loved, and let the planning wait. It will still be there on Monday.",{"title":248,"searchDepth":249,"depth":249,"links":2010},[2011,2014,2015,2016,2017],{"id":1878,"depth":249,"text":1879,"children":2012},[2013],{"id":1891,"depth":1670,"text":1892},{"id":1898,"depth":249,"text":1899},{"id":1972,"depth":249,"text":1973},{"id":1985,"depth":249,"text":1986},{"id":1998,"depth":249,"text":1999},"2023-03-03","A friendly guide to sharing your engagement news, from telling parents first to the right time to post online and how to handle the inevitable questions.","https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1501901609772-df0848060b33?ixid=M3w4NzI0OTN8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxfHxjb3VwbGUlMjBlbmdhZ2VtZW50JTIwY2VsZWJyYXRpb258ZW58MXwwfHx8MTc4MTYwMDM5MXww&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&w=1600&q=80&auto=format&fit=crop","Woman riding on back of man","Carly Rae Hobbins","https://unsplash.com/@carlyrae?utm_source=buildtheday&utm_medium=referral",{},"/blog/how-to-announce-your-engagement",{"title":1867,"description":2019},"blog/how-to-announce-your-engagement",[272,2029,1688],"announcement","R47CYlKqu-sUDAvZgHBY9uedlx56NBIp5nY_208UL4U",{"id":2032,"title":2033,"author":86,"body":2034,"category":256,"date":2195,"description":2196,"draft":259,"extension":260,"image":2197,"imageAlt":2198,"imageCredit":2199,"imageCreditUrl":2200,"meta":2201,"navigation":5,"path":2202,"readTime":267,"seo":2203,"stem":2204,"tags":2205,"__hash__":2207},"blog/blog/newly-engaged-heres-what-to-do-first.md","Newly Engaged? Here's What to Do First",{"type":88,"value":2035,"toc":2187},[2036,2039,2042,2046,2049,2052,2056,2059,2062,2065,2069,2072,2086,2089,2093,2096,2099,2119,2122,2126,2129,2132,2136,2139,2184],[91,2037,2038],{},"Congratulations. Take a breath. The moment you say yes, the world (or at least your group chat) seems to expect a venue, a date and a colour scheme by Tuesday. It really doesn't work like that, and the first few weeks of being engaged are some of the loveliest of the whole thing. Don't rush past them.",[91,2040,2041],{},"So before any spreadsheets, here's what actually deserves your attention first.",[98,2043,2045],{"id":2044},"sit-in-it-for-a-minute","Sit in it for a minute",[91,2047,2048],{},"The very first thing to do is nothing. Honestly. Have the evening, the weekend, maybe the fortnight, where the only job is being engaged. Order a takeaway, ring your mum, look at your hand a hundred times. This stage never comes back, and no decision you make this week will be better for being made today rather than next month.",[91,2050,2051],{},"There is no rule that says you have to start planning straight away. Plenty of couples stay happily engaged for a year before they so much as look at a venue. The to-do list will keep.",[98,2053,2055],{"id":2054},"tell-the-people-who-matter-most-in-the-right-order","Tell the people who matter most, in the right order",[91,2057,2058],{},"Word travels fast, so think for a second about who would be hurt to find out on Instagram. Parents and the closest family usually want to hear it from you directly, ideally by phone or in person rather than a group text. A quick \"we wanted you to be among the first to know\" goes a long way.",[91,2060,2061],{},"There's an etiquette wrinkle worth a mention: if either of your families is likely to feel strongly about being told first, sort that out between the two of you before you start dialling. A little coordination saves a lot of bruised feelings.",[91,2063,2064],{},"Once the inner circle knows, the wider announcement is yours to make however you like. Some couples post a photo the same night; others wait a week and enjoy keeping it quiet. Both are completely fine.",[98,2066,2068],{"id":2067},"look-after-the-ring-and-yourself","Look after the ring (and yourself)",[91,2070,2071],{},"If there's a ring, two quick admin jobs are worth doing in the first few weeks while you're thinking about it:",[112,2073,2074,2080],{},[115,2075,2076,2079],{},[334,2077,2078],{},"Get it insured."," A ring can usually be added to your home contents insurance, sometimes with a separate \"specified item\" entry for anything valuable. Check whether it's covered away from home, because that's where rings actually go missing.",[115,2081,2082,2085],{},[334,2083,2084],{},"Have it sized properly."," A jeweller can check the fit so it isn't spinning round or, worse, too loose on a cold day. Get into the habit of taking it off for washing up, the gym and gardening.",[91,2087,2088],{},"That's genuinely all the ring admin you need right now. Don't let anyone talk you into a whole valuation appointment in week one.",[98,2090,2092],{"id":2091},"have-one-honest-conversation-about-the-big-picture","Have one honest conversation about the big picture",[91,2094,2095],{},"Before you can plan anything sensible, the two of you need a rough shared idea of what you actually want. Not the details, just the shape of it. This one chat will save you months of going round in circles later.",[91,2097,2098],{},"Three questions to start with:",[112,2100,2101,2107,2113],{},[115,2102,2103,2106],{},[334,2104,2105],{},"Roughly how big?"," A handful of people over a long lunch, or a couple of hundred and a marquee? Everything else flows from this.",[115,2108,2109,2112],{},[334,2110,2111],{},"Roughly when?"," This year, next, the year after? Are you tied to a season or a particular date?",[115,2114,2115,2118],{},[334,2116,2117],{},"Roughly what can you spend, and who might contribute?"," You don't need a final figure, just an honest ballpark and a sense of whether either set of parents wants to help. The average UK wedding runs to many thousands of pounds, so a frank early chat about money beats a tense one in month nine.",[91,2120,2121],{},"You won't agree on everything immediately, and that's fine. The point is to find out now whether one of you is picturing a registry office and the other a castle, so you can meet somewhere in the middle before any deposits are paid.",[98,2123,2125],{"id":2124},"start-a-single-home-for-everything","Start a single home for everything",[91,2127,2128],{},"The moment you do begin gathering ideas, dates and quotes, put them in one place from the start. The classic mistake is letting it sprawl: a few notes on your phone, screenshots in a folder, prices on the back of an envelope, half a conversation in your texts. By month three you can't find anything.",[91,2130,2131],{},"It doesn't have to be fancy. A shared note or a simple folder will do early on. As things get real, a wedding website pulls it together: your date, your details, and an RSVP page that collects replies in one list instead of across texts and emails. Build The Day lets you set that up when you're ready and share it with guests later, so the information lives in one tidy spot from the off.",[98,2133,2135],{"id":2134},"a-loose-order-for-the-months-ahead","A loose order for the months ahead",[91,2137,2138],{},"No need to act on any of this yet, but it helps to see roughly how the early stages tend to fall:",[148,2140,2141,2150],{},[151,2142,2143],{},[154,2144,2145,2147],{},[157,2146,1914],{},[157,2148,2149],{},"Gentle focus",[167,2151,2152,2160,2168,2176],{},[154,2153,2154,2157],{},[172,2155,2156],{},"Weeks 1–2",[172,2158,2159],{},"Celebrate. Tell family and close friends. Insure the ring.",[154,2161,2162,2165],{},[172,2163,2164],{},"Month 1",[172,2166,2167],{},"Announce more widely. Have the size/date/budget chat.",[154,2169,2170,2173],{},[172,2171,2172],{},"Months 2–3",[172,2174,2175],{},"Draft a rough guest list. Start a shortlist of dates and venues.",[154,2177,2178,2181],{},[172,2179,2180],{},"Months 3–4",[172,2182,2183],{},"Visit a venue or two. Lock in a date once you're sure.",[91,2185,2186],{},"The single best thing you can do as a newly engaged couple is resist the pressure to have it all figured out. The fun bit is the deciding, done slowly, together. Enjoy being engaged first. The planning will still be there when you're ready for it.",{"title":248,"searchDepth":249,"depth":249,"links":2188},[2189,2190,2191,2192,2193,2194],{"id":2044,"depth":249,"text":2045},{"id":2054,"depth":249,"text":2055},{"id":2067,"depth":249,"text":2068},{"id":2091,"depth":249,"text":2092},{"id":2124,"depth":249,"text":2125},{"id":2134,"depth":249,"text":2135},"2023-02-25","Just got engaged? Before any planning, here are the gentle, low-pressure first steps: tell your people, protect the ring, and have one honest chat.","https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1542042161784-26ab9e041e89?ixid=M3w4NzI0OTN8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxfHxlbmdhZ2VtZW50JTIwcmluZyUyMGhhbmRzfGVufDF8MHx8fDE3ODE2MDA0MDR8MA&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&w=1600&q=80&auto=format&fit=crop","Person holding hands wearing gold-colored ring","Khadija Yousaf","https://unsplash.com/@kography?utm_source=buildtheday&utm_medium=referral",{},"/blog/newly-engaged-heres-what-to-do-first",{"title":2033,"description":2196},"blog/newly-engaged-heres-what-to-do-first",[272,1359,2206],"first steps","YiQv81Yob9au4xwXrra8Clr4RKQ1c3XEz3gGaYeacNs",1781624709452]